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Top 24 Funny Quotes (With Image)

Explore the best Funny Quotes (with image)

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Top 24 Funny Quotes


A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

- Barbara Johnson

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

- Stephen Hawking

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded

- Terry Pratchett

I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy.

- Daryl Hall

Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening.

- Anonymous

Yay, Monday!... Said no one… Ever

- Anonymous

I Saw Two Guys Wearing Matching Outfits and Asked If They Were Gay? They Arrested Me

- Anonymous

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

- Russell Lynes

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just beyond your understanding.

- Anonymous

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either

- Anonymous

You sound better with your mouth closed.

- Anonymous

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

- Anonymous

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

- Anonymous

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

- Anonymous

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

- Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left.

- Anonymous

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles

- Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math

- Anonymous

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!

- Billy Connolly

Home, where I can look ugly and enjoy it.

- Anonymous

Monday? I swear it was Friday like five minutes ago.

- Anonymous

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now.

- Anonymous